The Leap Forward

I suddenly have the urge to change. Forward. For the better of me.
I think i've stated before in my other blog post, i don't like perpisahan.
What i didn't mentioned was that the other thing that i do not prefer is perubahan.
In my sense, perubahan is when things or a way needs to change in order to cater for new things coming in, where we had to be not us anymore, and yet we still insist of being us, who we usually were, but differently. Thats perubahana and i hate it. :|

Hey, resist to change? So old fashioned right? To leap forward is to have a change; a change to the brighter side.

Is this my concious? or is this a normal step in life when a man suddenly realise that he is old enough to now make up his own life (duhh~!) and understands that those little bubble of anti-perubahan that he has in his tiny puny stupid little fantasy mind is just his own self denying his resistance to changes. He resist, in silent, that his friends is moving forward, following the norms of society, following what stereotype method of life conducts, accepting the same fucking routines that thos guys in hats decides; believing in full dumbness what the society decides is right, IS right.

Is that me or my own rebellious, non-appreciative, ignorance alter ego?

Erm, you two is the only readers i have for this my Hingus. or rather, Doc, you may be the only one who still reads my crap. Thanks for that. What do you think though? I am a tru beliver of HONESTY now. I would appreciate all the bitter truth you may want to express out to me. (thanks a fuck UTP for doing that to me).

I think i should be a more discipline man.
I think i should go to gm and shape up my body.
I think i should save my money more, changing my lifestyle.
I think i should stop being this coward i am, and go face her and LIVE WITH THE OUTCOME!
I think i am to study again, both religiously and academically.
I think i should not be that stupid son that i am now, and face whatever music composed to me out there.
I think this blog post sucks.

What do you think? OR is this my mistake? "thinking too much". just think think think and no action. i want that, i want this, i think its better that, i think it should be this, but absolutely NO FREAKING ACTION! I am ratting my shit out that its not the world, it who you are, you and yoy alone decides the way you are, fuck the damn world for not seeing you the way you are comfortable living in, but yet, here i am concerning my ass of whatever YOU may think. -___-: i am apparently lying to my own self.

Thanks for reading. Though it should've been my nurain reading this. :/

/me sucks.