For who?

For you. I don't just do it for just anyone. Its for you. For me to be with you. It is that. It has always been that. All the lies and all the ties. You. I have put you second to my god and me. I hope i can one day make you realize this.

Please do.

/adam

WIN

Eric wins.

-,-

Tweets

You can see the trend. We all can. We all tweet when we got the time. So does she. And she's not tweeting. Means she doesn't have the time. We all tweet when we reach the net. I do. but shes not. Means she does not have connection to the net, She has always been observed to subscribe to that daily 12 hour package almost everyday. Thats when she, per say, 'has nothing much to do'. She always WA with her group. And browsing FB. Or scrolling TL and retweeting TW. But shes not. Means she always has something to do. Means shes THAT occupied! I wonder doing what. And with WHO! >.<

But i'm tweeting. While she's not.

That hurts. -,-

And this is over-thinking at play. I knoe. Fuck it.

-me brain

Mari Mengenali Eric

Berjumpe Eric hari ini. Bukan nama sebenar.

Observasi pertemuan pertama:
- confident
- ade 'class'
- jabatan tangan, well not that firm. normal.
- 'maybe' can be outspoken.

Observasi/Info selepas pengamatan kali kedua:
- Dip in KL
- Like getting to know things - asking abou NZ
- 'maybe' sedikit panas baran - incident kete depan parking rapat and reverse dgn garang
- pemanduan kereta agak terkawal. lampu kereta blakang x tuka, maybe not the 'particular' type, but janatn nevertheless.
- isap rokok apparently
- agak open, confident about self - story of jari ke arah ibu, manja. and tikus fact.
- ade abang di Pudu, so, hmm.. anak ketige?
- sense of humor a bit off.
- self made man so far i think.
- most probably the helpful type. - hmmmmmm dr bangi ke pudu, dr lrt jalan 20 minits ke jalan kent. amboih? (well, can;t blame him there coz i'd do it if its for her >.<)
- td die bayar ke sape bayar eh? kalau die, hmm, maybe jenih x kesah pasal duit? contra ticket wayang dgn makan2? akux  declare pun blanje. well, kalau ewe yg bauar, bkpe die x dtg kat aku tanye bape riyal. well assume baik, die dgr dh sume org kate duit aku, and dah tau harge tiket, so die gi byr makan and assume contra ngan ticket wayang.
- i think he can be the 'emphaty' type - mase gi basuh tgn, die dtg gk, and direct me to the 'sabun'. hmm.. thanx.

Unsure:
- x sure rokok ape isap
- x sure enpon ape pakai
- x sure jam ape pakai
- x sure brg branded ke dop
- x sure honest ke dop.

Caution:
- may be practicing social engineering. seems a few of his questions is targeted for spesific infos.. hmm.. (i think i'm wrong here, but i don;t think he can be smpai tahap naive kot..)

Conslusion.
- theres definitely more to him than meets the eye. A self made man has always conceived more than few stories.
- i am still being stupid and hampir kufur nikmat lg.. huhu~ Prof Muhayya, i'm counting on you >.<

"Ya Allah, aku mohon darimu petunjuk dan akal yg cerdas serta hati yg cekal. Kau tunjukkanlah kepadaku ape decision yang sepatutnye aku buat. Berikanlah aku cara untuk memahami diriku sendiri. Kau jadikanlah aku terlindung dari syaitan durjana."

Amin.

//alak

She

And she does that cute act again and again. Damn it! >.<

But can i not be the father? :| I don't want to. I want more.

Well.....yeah, i can be dad. as long as shes the mom. :"> #NuffSaid

-alak-

04 August 2013

It's been a while.

Why can't we (me?) be as casual as we are with friends but we just can't when it comes to the one we love.

Too much considerations at play.

That results to lame-ness boring-ness emotion-less phun-less.

#LifesLikeThat :|

The Leap Forward

I suddenly have the urge to change. Forward. For the better of me.
I think i've stated before in my other blog post, i don't like perpisahan.
What i didn't mentioned was that the other thing that i do not prefer is perubahan.
In my sense, perubahan is when things or a way needs to change in order to cater for new things coming in, where we had to be not us anymore, and yet we still insist of being us, who we usually were, but differently. Thats perubahana and i hate it. :|

Hey, resist to change? So old fashioned right? To leap forward is to have a change; a change to the brighter side.

Is this my concious? or is this a normal step in life when a man suddenly realise that he is old enough to now make up his own life (duhh~!) and understands that those little bubble of anti-perubahan that he has in his tiny puny stupid little fantasy mind is just his own self denying his resistance to changes. He resist, in silent, that his friends is moving forward, following the norms of society, following what stereotype method of life conducts, accepting the same fucking routines that thos guys in hats decides; believing in full dumbness what the society decides is right, IS right.

Is that me or my own rebellious, non-appreciative, ignorance alter ego?

Erm, you two is the only readers i have for this my Hingus. or rather, Doc, you may be the only one who still reads my crap. Thanks for that. What do you think though? I am a tru beliver of HONESTY now. I would appreciate all the bitter truth you may want to express out to me. (thanks a fuck UTP for doing that to me).

I think i should be a more discipline man.
I think i should go to gm and shape up my body.
I think i should save my money more, changing my lifestyle.
I think i should stop being this coward i am, and go face her and LIVE WITH THE OUTCOME!
I think i am to study again, both religiously and academically.
I think i should not be that stupid son that i am now, and face whatever music composed to me out there.
I think this blog post sucks.

What do you think? OR is this my mistake? "thinking too much". just think think think and no action. i want that, i want this, i think its better that, i think it should be this, but absolutely NO FREAKING ACTION! I am ratting my shit out that its not the world, it who you are, you and yoy alone decides the way you are, fuck the damn world for not seeing you the way you are comfortable living in, but yet, here i am concerning my ass of whatever YOU may think. -___-: i am apparently lying to my own self.

Thanks for reading. Though it should've been my nurain reading this. :/

/me sucks.