Perpisahan. Benci.

i think i;ve blogged or rant somewhere bout this before.
perpisahan. just pure hate it.

its not just those "i'll be going to Planet Nameck for 400 lightyears" kind of perpisahan, nor just those simple2 perpisahan like "sy blk kampung sbulan" kind of perpisahan, but also, those normal.. "K thanks. jumpe smula luse.." THAT is also perpisahan, walau it is just for a mere two days.

hate the feeling. hate it.

its a condition where "goodbye" faces are made, a smirking awkward smile or sort, and the heart says "i would have to go now, logically, principally, i have to leave you temporarily now" but of course "if i can go againts the norms of life, i would rather be with you, always, not having to deal with those perpisahan feelings and silly goodbyes and the heartache thereafter"

Haih.. Yes, its fucking silly i noe. but F, thats how i am.

Sy jenis 'memiliki'. Call it manje or what not, i dont care, manja or not, thats one of me i am 'me' about.
Thanks for reading my ranting though.

o_o

-adam-

26

Erm.. Yeay? Alhamdulillah..

I lived.

I was given the chance, still, to live.

I am, still, yet, given the chance to ponder on my weak self, to learn to syukur to Allah S.W.T.

But will i be that me i am hoping to be? o.o

I'm 26 now. Quite a boring start to the-next-day-after-my-birthday day. Can't exactly recall who but think it was ZSA who asked me for any new "azam". Well.. to be honest, no. Not yet at least. If you want my short term goal? RM12000 per month within three years. Sound good? Yeah, i know; lame as it may be. 

-,-

To ZSA, i was being honest when i answered you. i told you "nk gi jauh2, cari pitih bnyk2." Ended with a  smirk on me face, but, hey that's my cover-serious face! =P Need to solve what my head burdened with the most, $$$! I know Allah has His plans for me. I will face it and goes through it all, with patience and confident. :)

Will this year be again a failure year, same as previous years? My life starts crumbling down and down and down and down and spiraling downwards on and on, starting from that shitty Thursday morning, 4 years back. Ughhhhhhhh!

But that's my "x reti nk menghitung kesyukuran" self speaking. My 23, 24 25, and 26 me? Well, Me, myself, and i has always kept telling each other that there is always hikmah in every sunnatullah in this world. I am obliged to accept and be damn confident at that, which i am, i truly am. Alhamdulillah..

Put those aside for a while. I hope this future years will be a kind one for me. I would like to be highly competent with my technical me. I would like to be at ease about dollars and cents. I wish for me courage to push me to get me my special one. There. Three, that's.. enough for now? Haha..

And a shout-out to my friends, THANK YOU SO MUCH for being there when it matters. :) Appreciate the time and effort. It meant a lot to me, so very much.

Semoga kita semua senantiasa di bawah pandangan rahmah Allah S.W.T. 

Sincerely,

Adam.

Lidah setajam pisau

Lidah setajam pisau.

More than it means, lidah lebih tajam dr pisau.
Ingat, hilang Bulan pun Matahari tak bersendiri.
Masih ada Musytari, Marikh dan Utarid.
Pluto jauh di hujung, tapi dia masih di situ.
Zuhrah kadang-kadang lupa dengan Uranus dan Neptune, setia di sisi.
Memerhati, diam atas dasar teman.

Jangan hanya berkata, pandang mulut mereka, dan rasa isi perkataan.
Tak rasa? Jangan risau, beringatlah dulu.
Nanti dah rasa, lekatlah ia.
Sebab apa baru rasa? Sebab baru hendak merasa bukan?
Selama ini? Tak sedar? Tak ingat? Tak peka?
Bukan. Bukan.
Selama ini dalam kenaifan sendiri.
Bukan?
Bukan. Bukan.
Selama ini lupa nk nampak.
Lupa nk peka.
Perasan, sedar, cuma lupa nk endah.
Tidak mengapa, selama ini ada Uranus. Bertepuk dahi.
Neptune sisip senyum tiap kali.
Dah lupa dengan mereka?
Tidak. Mana boleh lupa, mereka yg masih di sisi. Teman.

Zuhal di Bumi duduk sendiri.
Pluto jauh memerhati.

-mengarut di kala perut kruk kruk-
-away tapau beger 5 bijik-

/alak

i want you......to want it.

When i want to, i want to.
I don't need anyone's wanting me to want something.
It's me who want it, so let me be.
Let me wanting that thing i want you to be wanting too.
You want it.
I want to.
You don't want me to.
I want to.
But i won't be wanting it if you dont want me to be wanting it for you.
Do you?

I want to. :(

/alak

Sentuh jari dkt idung

Kalau jealous, sentuhlah jari kat idung.
Kalau tak jealous, x payah lah sentuh.

"Molly sucks" Bestnye ade org jeles utk die.. :|

#BreakingIn

/alak

Friend

malique dan joe penah dh mengalunkan perihal silam mereka sewaktu mereke masih kurg dewase, di mane seorg gadis yg mereke kenali dan bersame dr kecil hingga tingkat usia remaje akhirnye meniggalkan mereke, dgn care kurg selese di bawah norma acceptance masyarakat.

itu intipati lagu Too Phat - Just A Friend.

well, gadis2 itu tidak curang, tp mereke khianat. khianati persahabatan yg malique dan joe curahkan. salah mereke? juge tidak, salah joe dan malique? juge tidak. well, half half? mungkin. itulah perangkap friendzone. imho, ia adalah partly kurang keyakinan di kedua pihak, tidak dpt menghandle kekeciwaan di pihak sebelah, dan sikap tidak pandai menghargai atau separe sombong sebelah pihak lagi.

Cerite AsyC89 mungkin betul, mungkin tidak (aku rase betul) but i feel you bro. for in my case with my crush, 6 years, and now she's married. and it feels so wrong everytime she text me, and everytime 13th february come around. friendzone kills.

but then what can you do to avoid it? for you are only good for nothing accept for being a supportive dumb 'friend' in which it is in yr nature to be good and forgiving to the one you like. it hurts, always, but its comforting at the same time, being close and knowing she is still there, always comfortable being around you. but it kills.

it kills when you know she's responding yet not sure for what that respond is supposed to mean.
it kills when you know she wants you to be close, yet when you are there, she's not.
it kills that when you want to distance yrself, she keeps coming asking for you.
it kills when she said she's ok to you yet next tells someone else of her discomfort.
it kills when you know she can trust you but she doesn't know that you know that she is not trusting you.
it kills when she had to neglect you just for seeing 'a friend'.
it kills that all you can do is be the naive you, hoping, dreaming, drooling for her, yet shes happy with the way things are, not wanting a single less, nor a bit more.
it kills when you have her.

and why do i have to write this long post for it? well, it's my fcuking blog, i'll do what i please.
i 0wn3d this post.

tata.

- alak -

That Feeling

i always get this feeling.
this feeling when you feel you have a missing puzzle.
a feeling of emptiness.
sometimes its just for a moment, but it can be recurring at times.
the same feeling over and over again.
you can't yet figure it out but you know that theres this feeling.
this feeling where there is something not at it's supposed placement.
this feeling of discomfort a one ouny spot in your heart.
this would later lead to a overthinked condition.
that would lead to a misjudged situation.
next come the poor decision making.

And last, the not so plausible aftermath.

it always start with this feeling.

May Allah bless us all. Ameen.

- alak -