My fault.

I just realize.
I didn't respond properly to poster issue.
I didn't finished up what i promised two weeks ago.
I didn't follow up to whatever i'm supposed to, cause i didn't do nothing.
I didn't socially keep up, just to know what's going on.

I didn't.
It's official.
It's my fault.

o.o

.

Ikut hati mati?

Ye dopp?
Ngoti ikut hati mati?
Ikut hati bukan ke ikut instinct ke?
Instinct, in my point of view means decision yang terdetik sekilas dari hati.
ye, so ikut instinct ialah ikut hati.

So?

.

Let it be you

Please.. Can it be you?
Each and everytime.
That familiar sound from my phone.
Can it be you?
Please.. Why is it not you?
Each time that tiny LED blinks blue.
Can't it always be you?
That split second where u reach for my hone, that split second the dimmer lights up, that split second a click goes.
Can't it be you.

:|

.

Then again...

But then again.. who am i to be down?
A person with rights to be down. to feel jealous, to suck.
The one who should, or who have the right condition to feel that way is a person who have went and tried, and failed.
i am definitely not that person.
o.o

(But.......i have my limitations, which sampai sudah i won;t be able to..compete.)
(Jangan kufur nikmat. #Note2Self)

I iz makin down ngan diri snirik lah pulok. -,-

.

Session

To say agony is to exaggerate.
Agony is too much extreme.
But i am in a state of near agony.
Uncomfortable.
Uneasy.
Incommodious.
Someone has put a whole 1 ton of compact block onto my chest.
And it hurts. Crushing. Downwards.

I can, can i?
Spitting what i feel, here..
Think so. I should be able to.
I can write anything. Anyhow. Anytime.
But theres one problem.
My wall is not forcing me back.
My echo returns silence.

I need a session.
ITC, OTB, ITB, H2H, whatever, whichever.
T______T
A session where i can admit my own losing.

.

Meaning

What does it mean when you're jealous?
Its a good indicator right?
jealousy should be the pusher.
But its not, still.
FML?
>.<

.

WTF

Who the phuck is man?
I hate man.

Go.
Die.
Miserably.

.

Act of Denial

When your body denies your thoughts.
Urges of the heart no more than an flick of the mind.
As your body refuses, again and again, you'll start to wonder.
Is it my body? Or my mind?
And your body refuse again.
You'll wonder again.
Is it my body? Or my mind?
This came again and again.
Until you realize.
Its not your body, nor its your mind.
It's you heart.

in simpler terms: hati nolok. -,-

#haishhhhhhhhhhhh~

-alak-